house on hill road

Taking Stock

Two days into the new year and I feel like I need to look back a bit. 2012 was a good year for me - a really good year, in many ways.

I started off the year with a word as my focus: make. It was about making time, making memories, making choices, making things, making friends, making food, making a home. And while it was not at the forefront of my mind at all times, I do feel that it was the guiding, and sometimes driving, force by which I lived in 2012.

As the year got underway, I felt like I needed a purpose other than being a wife and mother. I needed something for me, something to do, something to focus on. I said that bit out loud, to Fatty and a few friends, and the universe listened. An opportunity presented itself shortly thereafter and it felt right.

We tackled some long and overdue projects around our house. Rooms and woodwork were painted, light fixtures swapped out, wainscoting installed, carpet removed, the basement and garage trashed out. I admit it kind of snowballed, one project turning into another. In the end, though, I feel like this house we have lived in for 7+ years is finally feeling like us. 2013 will see more painting, more carpet removing, more organizing and less stuff.

We traveled. Some trips included the kids and extended family, others were just the two of us, one was by myself. We like to go places, see new things, eat and drink our way through cities. Many of my favorite memories of the year were made during our travels. Meeting friends I have "known" for years because of this blog and hanging out with our loved ones invigorates me. Still, I like home best. And I know that to be grounded, I need to be here more than anywhere else. I'm glad I finally realized that.

Sewing-wise, there were a couple completed quilts and two quilt tops that are waiting to be basted and finished. I sewed some clothes for myself and the girls. I finished a dress I started in the fall of 2011 and it has become a favorite. I finished a sweater that was started around the same time as the dress and I don't love it. Granny square fever struck in the summer. As with every year, there were some real winners craft-wise, and some real losers. Many of them not blogged. It's my intent to go back and chronicle some of these in the next month - stay tuned. I also took a one-night painting class with a group of girlfriends. Immediately, I knew I needed to get back to art. It felt good to play with paint and I wondered why I had ever stopped. Top of my list for 2013 is more art, both sketching and painting. I'm also continuing to focus on moving my body every day. It became abundantly clear that exercise, like making, is crucial to my mental well-being.

I made a definitive effort this past year to be present with my family when I am with them. This involved me saying no to some opportunities and leaving work to weekday school hours. I don't regret it one bit. My days had structure and I was very aware of what could be done in the number of hours I had. I think it helped me get beyond my procrastinating ways, as well. In the end, these girls are only home for a limited number of years and I am lucky that I get to spend a good part of my day with them. I want to be able to look back and know that I did everything I could for them and with them while I have the chance.

I'm in the throes of documenting our days from the last year using Project Life. I had started out 2012 strong and steady, but stopped sometime in April. This is one project I don't want to let go so I am back at it, halfway through August at this point. I will be continuing for 2013, too. With my fifth year of 365 under my belt, I have developed a strong habit of taking photos every day and I can't imagine not doing that. Recording these moments helps cement the memories. This is really important to me and the girls love looking back. So do I.

So, onward! I'm happy to be in 2013, feet firmly planted where I stand with lots of room to continue to grow. At 41 years old, I feel like I am finally settling into my own skin, my own being in ways that have escaped me previously. Kind of exciting, if you ask me.

Best $6 I've spent recently and some rambling thoughts

 

I snatched these flowers at the farmer's market last Saturday morning. They are still going strong and are the best smile-inducers now that the kids are back in school.

I think I lost my blogging mojo this summer. I'm sure you have guessed that already. No big news, right? But, I'm not finished blogging or going to throw in the towel yet. I think I just needed an old fashioned break and without realizing it, I took one.

I've been in this space for six years now. Six years! And when I think about what my life was like then, with two little kids who needed more immediate attention and more constant watching, I wonder how the heck I did it. Seriously. How did I find the time to be here 5 days a week with something to say? Now with the kids older, needing less watching, but more of my driving time and much, much more of moral support, I find that I don't have the kind of time that I think I need to be here. And that's the catch...I don't really need a ton of time to stop in and share a little tidbit. It doesn't have to be a huge, finished project that gets me to take photos, sit down and write. I used to share the little things, the progress of projects, small works in progress, stacks of fabric, photos of my day. I used to be more spontaneous about it all. I'd like to go back there and I'm going to try to.

I'm not going to promise posts 5 days a week. That's kind of unlikely right now. But I'm dipping my toes back in slowly. I have some finished things to share. And some unfinished things, too. I have a couple of great books to tell you about and some online craft courses to share (complete with giveaways!). I've got advice to ask about stocking the freezer for school lunches. I might just post some photos if I feel like it. Maybe I'll tell you about the cleanse I've been doing for the past couple of weeks. Or maybe not. Who knows?

So, hi. I'm Erin. Nice to see you again.

New York Spoils

We are home from New York.

It was a good, long, exhausting and fun week. We saw Tara and Tim twice - the perfect bookends to a week in Manhattan where we shopped, walked, shopped, ate, walked, drank, ate, drank, walked, shopped our way through Manhattan. Did I mention the eating and drinking and shopping?

All of the above came from Purl Soho with the exception of the dandelion fabric. That's from Marimekko (on sale!). The second photo is actually a scrap pack. I saw it when I walked in the store and thought about it the whole time I was there. The fabrics are not necessarily ones that I'd be drawn to on their own, but together like that? Yes. Please. And thank you, too. I scooped up the other blues and whites to go along. I know exactly what I am going to make and if I have the time, I will start it today. The green? Well, of course, I had to have that.

Now, home, I'm feeling incredibly spoiled. I have loving in-laws that take my kids so that Fatty and I can run away for a week together every summer. I have a husband who is more than a husband - he's my best friend and partner in crime. He makes me laugh and knows that if my blood sugar gets too low, it's not pretty. He holds my hand as we walk down the street and sits patiently while I spend hours looking at textiles and trying on clothes at Anthropologie. It is such a blessing to have that time alone, to be able to manage a vacation each year, to feel completely in love for the last eighteen years. I don't ever want to take that for granted. I feel incredibly blessed.

And the girls? I missed them just the right amount - not too much and not too little. We are hanging out today, running errands and doing other everyday life things like laundry and cooking. I've already referee-ed one fight and I'm sure it won't be the last. I'm slowly bringing them back to our world of limited television and healthier eating. Most of the time, I have the best job. I wouldn't change it for the world. Those girls - an equally big blessing.

My Spring Manifesto

 

I'm completely flattered and honored that Shari asked me to share my spring manifesto on her blog, The Art of Seeing Things. Hop on over to see what I plan on doing this spring. I'm so excited to read what her upcoming guests have in store for the season, too. I just love this time of year.

I'll be back here tomorrow. See you then.

Inspiring me today

Early spring.

Crisp Tiffany blue, shades of sky, petal pale pink with a pop of bright.

Green beads and patent shoes.

Warm, very warm, weather.

Loads of sunshine.

Mexican dinners eaten outside.

Open windows for a cross breeze and cool sleeping.

Books before bed and Vosges Goji bars.

How baking became making

This morning, after the kids were at school and I had walked the dog, I started bread dough.

There was a time not so long ago, but also not in the recent past, when Fatty declared that I needed to bake more bread. Mind you, this was not a declaration of his love of freshly baked bread, although I think he does enjoy it. Nor was it a testament to my baking skills - he doesn't like a lot of sweets.  He said that I am happier when I am baking bread.

Truth be told, I was taken aback. It's not that I don't like to bake - I do find it very enjoyable, although my waistline does not. I just didn't see it. I didn't see the happier when baking scenario. But his words weighed on my mind, and still sometimes do. Bread? Really? After awhile of pondering how baking bread could possibly be making me happier, I had the revelation. The bread baking was just another way of making. It was the making that was producing happiness.

I need to make.

So today because I had things that I had to do while the kids were at school and I knew that after they were home, I would not have time, I did my making early. I mixed the water with the yeast and the salt and slowly stirred in the flour. I let rise on the counter for 3 hours before baking a loaf for dinner. We ate it with soup and it was delicious.

The making does not happen everyday. I don't want you to think that my life is perfect and each day goes swimmingly. This is not the case. Life happens here, too. But when those little pockets of time appear, I grab them. I might sew, I might crochet, I might simply make dinner. My making doesn't need to be a huge project, although sometimes that is really nice. A few stitches in fabric does wonders for my outlook and puts a smile on my face. What I require is some ingredients or materials, a little time and my hands. With just those things, I can make.

And it's knowing that I need the making that is making all the difference.

Ten years

Kate turns 10 this coming Saturday.

Ten years old.

We celebrated this milestone with her friends on Monday. Ten girls, ten hula hoops, yards and yards of duct tape and electrical tape, pleasant 70 degree weather, lots of giggling and screaming, running around and rolling in the grass. I think they had fun. It looked like they were, at least. She wanted a rainbow cake - that was her only request. If you could have seen the look on those girls' faces when I cut the first slice. The awe and surprise was amazing. It made me look like a superhero of a mom when all it really took was some food coloring. What they don't know, won't hurt them.

On Kate's actual birthday, I'm running my first half marathon. I remember the first time I thought that I might just want to run that far. It was New Year's Eve 2001 - Kate was 6 weeks old, Jane was 2. Someone asked me what resolutions I had for the coming year. I said to run the half marathon. I didn't end up doing it - I could barely find the time to sleep, let alone run enough to train. Really, what was I thinking? But for 10 years, more or less, that thought has been in the back of my mind. I trained for a different half marathon three years ago, but didn't end up running it. It wasn't meant to be then and, until recently, I wasn't sure it would ever happen.

At the beginning of the summer, I saw a sign advertising a half marathon in November. I mentioned it to Fatty and friends, all of whom are cyclists or runners or both, and they encouraged me. With the promise of beer, I convinced one in particular to coach me (Thank you, Michael. I couldn't have gotten this far without you). I've been training since August. I have run short distances and many miles. People (you know who you are) have helped me along the way and I am grateful to have them in my life, pushing me, running with me, believing in me, cheering me on.

Saturday. 13.1 miles. I'm nervous and little bit scared. But I'm ready.

It only took me 10 years.

Eight to go

Yesterday was a parenting fail. I feel like acknowledging that because I don't want you to think it's all rainbows and sunshine here. I'm human, after all. And I know that we all have those days. Well, I know that I do. And if you don't, then please tell me your secret. I could use some help from time to time.

My biggest hope is that the girls don't remember every single moment I fail them. I certainly don't remember those times when my parents mucked it up. And along that line of thinking, maybe seeing me lose it with them from time to time will teach my kids that we all have our moments, good and bad. And as we make our way through these pre-teen and teen years, it'd be good for me to remember this lesson of empathy, too.

At the end of the day, I had this quilt square. I sewed it while they were at day camp. It's huge - 24" - and the first of nine. The pattern is Swoon by Camille Roskelley. All of the fabric is from my stash and the white is Kona Snow.

If all else fails? I hope my kids remember that I made them things. And that I did all of it, good and bad, the praising and the yelling, because I love them so much. Surely they will know that.

Now I am 40

I had a milestone birthday on Sunday. And as much as some people might not relish those larger, even numbers, I think this one is pretty dang great.  I'm still beaming from all the goodness and processing everything that happened this past weekend. Fatty threw me a lovely party and Rachel was in town for it. While I knew about the party, they (I'm including you, Caroline and Marcia!) managed to surprise me with some unexpected guests. It was wonderful to see Alicia and Heather again so soon after our weekend this past winter. And I think my eyes may have popped out of my head when Leslie walked through my door! It was such an unexpected treat to meet her after being friends for so many years. I'm humbled and flabbergasted that these ladies traveled so far to celebrate with me. It was the icing on the cake, so to speak, and my only regret is that we didn't get to spend more time together. Oh! And that I didn't take more pictures. Regardless, I am so grateful for their friendships and all of my other family and friends who made turning forty even sweeter than I could have imagined. I feel blessed to be surrounded by such wonderful people.

Chop chop

The auction is tomorrow and if you would have asked me three days ago how I felt about it, I would have predicted that I'd be well finished by now. If you would have asked me two hours ago, you would have heard nothing but panic. And right now, a little less panic. There is still some work to do. This is how it goes. It will all get done, it will all be good, maybe even great, and I will rest on Sunday.

I had a haircut on the calendar for this morning and I did manage to squeeze that in. I've been dreaming about getting a summer cut once the weather gets warmer. I took a good long look in the mirror this morning and decided that my long-ish hair wasn't doing me any favors. In fact, it was weighing me down. I didn't really plan on cutting it until April, but when I sat in the stylist's chair this morning, on a whim I told her to chop it off.

Three to four inches shorter and I automatically felt lighter.  I'm so glad I did not wait for summer to get my summer cut.

I hope the weekend treats us all well. And that each of you has a moment to do something nice for yourself. I promise to take photos of all the auction projects I can to share next week. See you then.

And then there was a moment of stress

See. Life isn't always so calm.

We had a super busy weekend - a two day swim meet and piano recital plus our company holiday party. Can you say tired? Actually, that doesn't quite cover it. Exhausted is more like it. Sunday night I went to bed at 7:45 p.m. and didn't get up until 6:30 Monday morning. Just shy of 11 hours. Crazy, huh?

Monday was a snow day for the kids.  A pathetic - we had one inch of snow - day.  Considering our weekend, it was nice to have little on the agenda, but it is the last week that the kids are in school before the holiday break.  Losing a day kind of pinched my schedule.  I didn't get to quilting the one handmade gift yesterday.  I did manage to finish the quilting today, but everything shifted a day down the week and tomorrow the stuff on the agenda can't shift.  I found myself agitated and yelling at the kids.  Fatty saw it too - told me I didn't seem myself.  I hate this.

And then I uploaded my photos from the last two days and I saw calm in them.

I made a list, put my laundry away, went through the mail and neatened up the girls' rooms.  Then I walked the dog and celebrated Tuesday with Fatty and a bottle of champagne.  And then came to the understanding that I won't make any other progress on the gift wrapping and card addressing and quilt binding until Thursday.

I'm going to be ok with that.  I've made it 14 days into December without feeling a moment of this stress and that, my friends, is an incredible achievement for me.  So, yes.  I'm ok with a bit a stress because tomorrow the calm returns.  Until then, take care.

******

There are still a handful of camera straps available in my shop.  Orders must be placed by Monday, December 20th in order to arrive by Christmas in the U.S.  You can get 15% off by using the code CALM when you check out.

Habit

Habit is one of my daily reads. Molly and Emily started this project 18 months ago and I was lucky enough to be their guest in March 2009.  This month, they have invited everyone to play along.  There is a flickr pool for uploading your own habit photo with 30 words or less each day.  There is something special about this collaboration and to see it multiplied and magnified each day on flickr is amazing to me.  I'm joining in again because, really, how could I not?  It's magic.

I hope you'll join me.

Berry Season

I pick up the paring knife, its shape fits my hand.  Blue cardboard quarts sit on the counter to my right and the colander is in the empty sink waiting to be filled.  I pick up the first berry.  With a quick twist of the blade, it's little green top is detached and dropped.  It sits on the bottom of the big white sink looking brighter somehow.  The plump, red strawberry is placed in the strainer, waiting to be joined by all the others.  I reach for the next berry without thinking.  Quick twist, dropped top, berry plopped. I find my rhythm immediately.  It's a familiar task - one I don't think much about until now.

I make fast work of the first quart and half of the second one.  After a quick rinse, I lay the berries on some paper towels to dry.  I sample one.  It's perfect - sweet, juicy, not too ripe.  Although dinner is in a short while, I help myself to a few more.  With each bite, I taste summer.  I'm immediately in central Wisconsin, some June day around the age of seven or eight.  I walk outside my grandparents' house and pick strawberries for breakfast, eating one for every couple berries that make their way in to the wooden box.  The sun is shining on my shoulders, warm but not yet too hot.  There is dirt under my toes, turning my white sandals brown.  I bend over again and examine the plants.  I lift the leaves, find the gems and pick them.  Two in the box, one in the mouth.

"Mom!"  Her voice brings me back to the task at hand.  "Would you like a strawberry?" I ask.  She grabs one readily.  I take another one for myself.  I look down at her face and she's smiling.  "These are soooo good," she says.  "They are, aren't they?" I reply.  She nods and grabs two more before she skips out the kitchen door, yelling for her sister to wait up.  I plop another berry in my mouth - it's just as sweet as the first one.  I could keep eating, but I make myself stop so I can fix dinner.  The truth is I could skip the meal all together.  The days are growing longer and I am anxious for the stretch of carefree days ahead of us.  Only four days of school remain and the calendar says May, but it might as well be June.  For me, summer always starts with the strawberries.

December is starting off great

 

You may have already heard, but in case you haven't, I'm going to let you in to the know.  This month at habit, Molly and Emily invited all of their guests from the past year to come back and post.  It's a big month-long party, 35 women posting snippets of their days.  I feel so so lucky to be back in that space.  And honored, too.  Please stop by and check it out.

My life is good

It's the second to last day of October and it's hot outside.  Like in the mid-70's hot.  Too hot for the second to last day of October.  I can feel the rain coming - I have the headache to prove it.  Or the headache could be from all the candy and lack of water that I have consumed (or not) today.  Probably a combination of the two, truth be told.

Yesterday I had a little luncheon for six friends.  I served butternut squash soup with a spinach salad (pears, pecans, blue cheese, red onion, balsamic vinaigrette).  I set the table with my grandmother's silver and the napkins I pressed last week.  It was delicious and went off with a hitch.  The house was mostly picked up so an hour with the vacuum and duster was all it took to get ready.  It amazed me.  I feel like I have turned a corner, that I can see my life moving forward in a much more mindful and happy way if I can just keep this cleaning thing up.  I'm praying that once the hard work is done, it'll be a matter of maintenance.  Please let it be so.

I've been knitting - two small projects are already completed and one is on the needles.  I want to share those with you, but it's too hot to put wool on my body and then take photos.  When the temperatures dip, I will show and tell.  Cross my heart.

I haven't sewn much - a few single girl squares.  That leaves 17 to sew.  There are some camera straps almost finished, but I want another colorway or two or three before I update the shop for the last time this year.  Mid-November is the goal.  I can't take special requests or email anyone individually when I stock the shop.  I will keep you posted via the blog.  That I can do.

It's supposed to rain tomorrow and I just hope it can hold off or be a sprinkle so the girls can enjoy the holiday.  I have a vampire and a gypsy this year.  The vampire's teeth are already broken and the gypsy has lost her earrings, but they are both dealing with less-than-perfect just fine.  I am so thankful for that.  I tried replacing the vampire fangs, but it's the day before Halloween and, of course, no one has any left.  The fact that my child is being a trooper is a blessing.  Did I mention that I am thankful?

We're going to a concert tonight.  Front row seats, too.  I'm looking forward to a date night and especially seeing this band.  I'm also anticipating an empty morning tomorrow.  I plan on filling it with coffee and my dvr-ed shows from this week.  I might even break out the glitter.  Or some felt.  Or maybe both.  Endless possibilities - I like that.

I have some new shoes.  They make me smile, too.

So there.  That's what has been going on with me.

Here's to a great weekend for all of us.

Stitch

I thought I'd be back here on Tuesday, but, you know, life.  I really appreciate all your comments about chores/cleaning from earlier this week.  If you find yourself in the same situation as me, there are some good ideas in the comments.  I'm trying FlyLady for now.  I'll let you know how that works out.

In other, much more exciting news - well, exciting for me - one of my projects is in the Fall/Winter issue of Stitch.

I made this cozy wool muff back in July and am anxious to give it a whirl as the temperature starts to drop.  Did you have one of these as a young girl?  It's a fun project that shouldn't take too long to make - an afternoon or maybe a bit more.  It does require a little patience to sew through all the layers, but the construction is simple.  I made mine out of wool and velveteen, but I think it would be equally as cute out of corduroy and flannel with a folksy ribbon.  Let me know if you make one - I'd love to see photos!

I really like this issue of Stitch.  It's full of great projects and many of them are well-suited for holiday gift giving.  I just started to make a list of the items I am anxious to make and it's long.  Too long to share.  You'll recognize many of the contributing designers if you read blogs, which I assume you do because you are reading this.  Really, it's all so good.  And I'd still say that if my project hadn't been included.  But it was, so yay!

It's Monday and I feel fine

Good afternoon.  I'm feeling pretty great today - hope you are too.

This weekend I came to the realization that I don't function well when there is chaos around me.  OK - I really knew this about myself before this weekend.  I just didn't know what to do about it.  And as I said last week, I'd like my house to be clean for more than 15 minutes at a time.  Here's the realization:  I am the biggest obstacle to keeping this house picked up.  All this time I have been looking for a solution, but not getting to the heart of the problem.  It's not the myriad coats and shoes thrown on the mudroom floor or the fact that my children leave papers scattered on any available flat surface that is driving me crazy.  It's that when it gets messy, I don't deal with it right away.  In fact, I don't deal with it because it is messy and then it even gets messier.  Follow?  I decided to focus on the problem and to do that, I am going to have to change my behavior.  Instead of waiting until it's overwhelming and then tackling it all in one full swoop, I am dealing with bits of the cleaning each day.  So on Saturday, I cleaned the front part of our house - living room, sun room, dining room, front hall and stairs, powder room.  And then I stopped.  Yesterday, I finished the laundry and made the girls and myself put it all away as soon as it was folded.  This morning, I got up and picked up the family room and the laundry room.  I'll probably tackle the kitchen and the mud room this afternoon.  Breaking it up into these little tasks is more manageable for me.  It's amazing how much I can get done in 20 minutes!  And once something is clean, it's that much easier to keep it that way.  I'm sure this is not revolutionary for some of you, but for me, it is.

So yes, I am feeling pretty good today.  I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.  And once I get this house sorted out, I am going to have to enlist the girls' help to keeping it that way.  I'm pretty good about making them help out, but other than clearing the table after dinner, they don't have any specific chores.  I'd like to change that.  I know some of you have kids the same ages (almost 8 and 10) and I am curious what chores your children have.  If you feel like sharing, I'd love to get some feedback on that.

All right, back here soon (probably tomorrow).  The sun is finally out and I can take photos of some things I have finished up over the last week or so.  See you then.

green and yellow

I'm loving a little yellow with my green these days.

The bag is from Anthropologie and the sunflowers are courtesy of the great outdoors.

Home, finally.

I really love fall.  It's my favorite time of the year.  There are apples to eat and pumpkins to buy, bread to bake and costumes to make.  Plus, I can finally wear my scarf that Martha made.  Just another great reason to enjoy cooler days.  And as of last night, my crazy travel month has come to an end and I couldn't be more thrilled to find myself at home for a decent length of time.  I have all sorts of projects I want to get going and others that need finishing up.  I'm going to step away from the blog for a few days to get back in the swing of things.  See you here sometime soon - maybe even later this week.

Also, Typepad seems to have the hiccups as I am not receiving email notification of any comments that are posted.  I will read the comments here, but can't reply via email.  So, if you have a question or need some more info, email me.  OK?

Ta ta for now.

More than good enough

Just dropping by to say hello.

Hello.

Outside the leaves are rustling, the sun is shining and the sky is clear.  It's been in the 60's all day - yay for fall!  I have mums and kale to plant and even a few leaves to rake.  Each time I look down I smile.  Green boots will do that to a girl.

Now I am off to make applesauce and hunt down a 4th grade math textbook.  Just thought I'd throw that little nugget of disorganization to let you know that while today is mighty good, it's not perfect.  No day ever is.  And that is fine with me.  I'll take what I can get.

Happy Monday.  I hope your day is more than good enough, too.